Communications 101

Communications 101
Has anybody ever heard of the little boy who was out throwing starfish back into the sea? It's a popular story. He is walking along throwing the starfish back in because the tide has receded and if he doesn't they will dry up in the sun and die. A man comes out and watches the boy for a while and says "you can't possibly expect to make a difference doing that, this beach is covered with starfish and if you stayed out here all day you would not be able to get a quarter of them back in the sea". The boy stopped and stared at the man for a moment and then reached down and tossed another one in. "It matters to that one."

Today in my communications class the question came up "How big does something have to get before it looses its effectiveness?" Can something get so big that it no longer serves its initial purpose? I suppose you could battle that with, can something stay small and reach the majority?

Isolation leads to insanity. Live inside your own head long enough without outside opinion, interaction, or contradiction and you will inevitably come to a wrong conclusion about something. We do not know everything and I believe that the premise that we are able to find all solutions to life’s difficulties by accessing the deep inner workings of our own minds is, well, madness, and is a conclusion probably obtained by someone with a supreme elitist thought process. We grow, learn, and become through our interactions with other people. The more often we interact on an intimate level with a community we are a part of the more that community will have an effect on us. Family, for example, has a great impact on how a child grows to process the rest of their world. The local influences of community are going to make a deeper impact on an individual than the larger perimeters with which the local community is a part of.
To be changed by a community we must be intimately influenced by that community. It has to matter that we are or are not a part of it, and it has to matter to both us, and the others involved. Let’s use the analogy of several people holding up a heavy object. If only two or three people are holding up the object the importance of each individual is obviously essential. However if there are say 15 people holding up the same object, the lack of one or two people might not be that significant. When people do not feel like they bring value to a community they are likely to leave. When people in a community do not feel like others are valuable to their community they are likely to not stop them. So how big does a group have to become before people are no longer valuable to that community? I suppose that would directly relate to the weight of the load that that group is trying to carry.

Since becoming a Christian I’ve heard a lot of criticizing over the years. Criticizing of other Christian groups by Christian groups. It nauseates me.

To go back to the starfish I want to ask you who you see yourself as in the story?
Do you see yourself as the boy, walking along trying his best to influence and affect those he can?
Do you see yourself as the man standing around criticizing the efforts of the boy because of the starfish that are not getting the help that they need?
Do you see yourself as a starfish? Either one chosen and saved by the kindness of another, or as one left on the beach overlooked?
I have to say that I personally have felt like all of the above.
I believe that a shift comes in a person when he stops seeing himself as the starfish and starts seeing himself as the people. If I was a starfish and I had a choice of what beach I could be washed up on, I would most definitely choose a nice small beach where the likelihood of my needs being met was higher. Less other starfish the more attention I get. If I was the man observing I would choose a smaller beach too. If the boy’s efforts are going to get the job done I don’t have to participate in his community the load is light enough and they don’t need me... Or maybe I’d stay on the large beach after all, the effort being futile is as good an excuse as any to not be involved. If I was the boy who really wanted to make a difference I don’t think it would really matter what beach I was on though. I don't picture him critisizing the small or the large churches... er I mean beaches.

People leave community because they feel that their involvement doesn't matter.
People criticize communities because they believe the efforts of that community are impractical and unimportant.
Starfish get overlooked because there are not enough people involved in the community that is saving them.
Starfish get saved because they mattered to someone.

The moral of the story?
If you have been shown kindness and tossed back in the sea: rejoice, if you discover that you are in fact a man and not a starfish, you know, maybe better then any, that the community needs you.
If you are tossing starfish into the sea: don't let the discouragement of others stop the good you are doing.
If you are an overlooked starfish: trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledges him and he will direct your path. Do not become like the man, criticizing the effort, and cursing the beach you happen to be washed up on, but rejoice that an effort is being made. And should you find that all this time you were not actually a starfish but a man: the community really does need you.