Communications 101
Has anybody ever heard of the little boy who was out throwing starfish back into the sea? It's a popular story. He is walking along throwing the starfish back in because the tide has receded and if he doesn't they will dry up in the sun and die. A man comes out and watches the boy for a while and says "you can't possibly expect to make a difference doing that, this beach is covered with starfish and if you stayed out here all day you would not be able to get a quarter of them back in the sea". The boy stopped and stared at the man for a moment and then reached down and tossed another one in. "It matters to that one."
Today in my communications class the question came up "How big does something have to get before it looses its effectiveness?" Can something get so big that it no longer serves its initial purpose? I suppose you could battle that with, can something stay small and reach the majority?
Isolation leads to insanity. Live inside your own head long enough without outside opinion, interaction, or contradiction and you will inevitably come to a wrong conclusion about something. We do not know everything and I believe that the premise that we are able to find all solutions to life’s difficulties by accessing the deep inner workings of our own minds is, well, madness, and is a conclusion probably obtained by someone with a supreme elitist thought process. We grow, learn, and become through our interactions with other people. The more often we interact on an intimate level with a community we are a part of the more that community will have an effect on us. Family, for example, has a great impact on how a child grows to process the rest of their world. The local influences of community are going to make a deeper impact on an individual than the larger perimeters with which the local community is a part of.
To be changed by a community we must be intimately influenced by that community. It has to matter that we are or are not a part of it, and it has to matter to both us, and the others involved. Let’s use the analogy of several people holding up a heavy object. If only two or three people are holding up the object the importance of each individual is obviously essential. However if there are say 15 people holding up the same object, the lack of one or two people might not be that significant. When people do not feel like they bring value to a community they are likely to leave. When people in a community do not feel like others are valuable to their community they are likely to not stop them. So how big does a group have to become before people are no longer valuable to that community? I suppose that would directly relate to the weight of the load that that group is trying to carry.
Since becoming a Christian I’ve heard a lot of criticizing over the years. Criticizing of other Christian groups by Christian groups. It nauseates me.
To go back to the starfish I want to ask you who you see yourself as in the story?
Do you see yourself as the boy, walking along trying his best to influence and affect those he can?
Do you see yourself as the man standing around criticizing the efforts of the boy because of the starfish that are not getting the help that they need?
Do you see yourself as a starfish? Either one chosen and saved by the kindness of another, or as one left on the beach overlooked?
I have to say that I personally have felt like all of the above.
I believe that a shift comes in a person when he stops seeing himself as the starfish and starts seeing himself as the people. If I was a starfish and I had a choice of what beach I could be washed up on, I would most definitely choose a nice small beach where the likelihood of my needs being met was higher. Less other starfish the more attention I get. If I was the man observing I would choose a smaller beach too. If the boy’s efforts are going to get the job done I don’t have to participate in his community the load is light enough and they don’t need me... Or maybe I’d stay on the large beach after all, the effort being futile is as good an excuse as any to not be involved. If I was the boy who really wanted to make a difference I don’t think it would really matter what beach I was on though. I don't picture him critisizing the small or the large churches... er I mean beaches.
People leave community because they feel that their involvement doesn't matter.
People criticize communities because they believe the efforts of that community are impractical and unimportant.
Starfish get overlooked because there are not enough people involved in the community that is saving them.
Starfish get saved because they mattered to someone.
The moral of the story?
If you have been shown kindness and tossed back in the sea: rejoice, if you discover that you are in fact a man and not a starfish, you know, maybe better then any, that the community needs you.
If you are tossing starfish into the sea: don't let the discouragement of others stop the good you are doing.
If you are an overlooked starfish: trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledges him and he will direct your path. Do not become like the man, criticizing the effort, and cursing the beach you happen to be washed up on, but rejoice that an effort is being made. And should you find that all this time you were not actually a starfish but a man: the community really does need you.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
standards...
I've been thinking about standards lately... yeah, standards. it's one of those subjects that could really bore you if your heart's not in it... but then again I'm finding that most things bore you if your heart is not in them. If life is boring to you I've got to ask: Is your heart in it? so one thing that I really love about certain individuals in my life... I'm talking authority figures here, is that they are not legalistic. you won't find them saying things that aren't addressed in the bible, or judging you in anyway if you bring them your struggles. I love those people that understand that standards really mean nothing if they come from another person and not from the Lord. and yet these same people have very high standards in their own life.
I looked up the word standard in the dictionary, there are something like 25 definitions for this word, I'll spare you the majority and only list the first five here:
1. something considered by an authority or by general consent as a basis of comparison; an approved model.
2. an object that is regarded as the usual or most common size or form of its kind: We stock the deluxe models as well as the standards.
3. a rule or principle that is used as a basis for judgment: They tried to establish standards for a new philosophical approach.
4. an average or normal requirement, quality, quantity, level, grade, etc.: His work this week hasn't been up to his usual standard.
5. standards, those morals, ethics, habits, etc., established by authority, custom, or an individual as acceptable: He tried to live up to his father's standards.
it's interesting to me that standards really are all about judging, comparing, and requiring... so is this what we are to do? yeah it is. in our own lives, it is.
Man I'm good at criticising sometimes, good at judging people, often for judging me.
great at comparing, and really good at thinking what things other people should make priority in their lives.
I think we are so good at it because God wants us to know what our standards are and compare ourselves to it, but like most things we focus a good Principal on the wrong area.
So what's my standard? what is the "norm" of my life? is it out of the ordinary for me to stress out? if not maybe I need to change my standard. Is it normal for me to disregard other peoples feelings? hmmm.
David says "for I delight in your commands
because I love them. I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love,
and I meditate on your decrees." psalms 119:47-48
so I say, who cares what everyone else thinks, does, believes. God has called you to something specific. if you spend your time trying to talk people into your view, you won't get far.
I'm so grateful for people that have modeled this to me. a life of standards for the right reasons, and a love for people despite their choices.
good old Solomon:
"Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil."
Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
I looked up the word standard in the dictionary, there are something like 25 definitions for this word, I'll spare you the majority and only list the first five here:
1. something considered by an authority or by general consent as a basis of comparison; an approved model.
2. an object that is regarded as the usual or most common size or form of its kind: We stock the deluxe models as well as the standards.
3. a rule or principle that is used as a basis for judgment: They tried to establish standards for a new philosophical approach.
4. an average or normal requirement, quality, quantity, level, grade, etc.: His work this week hasn't been up to his usual standard.
5. standards, those morals, ethics, habits, etc., established by authority, custom, or an individual as acceptable: He tried to live up to his father's standards.
it's interesting to me that standards really are all about judging, comparing, and requiring... so is this what we are to do? yeah it is. in our own lives, it is.
Man I'm good at criticising sometimes, good at judging people, often for judging me.
great at comparing, and really good at thinking what things other people should make priority in their lives.
I think we are so good at it because God wants us to know what our standards are and compare ourselves to it, but like most things we focus a good Principal on the wrong area.
So what's my standard? what is the "norm" of my life? is it out of the ordinary for me to stress out? if not maybe I need to change my standard. Is it normal for me to disregard other peoples feelings? hmmm.
David says "for I delight in your commands
because I love them. I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love,
and I meditate on your decrees." psalms 119:47-48
so I say, who cares what everyone else thinks, does, believes. God has called you to something specific. if you spend your time trying to talk people into your view, you won't get far.
I'm so grateful for people that have modeled this to me. a life of standards for the right reasons, and a love for people despite their choices.
good old Solomon:
"Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil."
Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
Monday, September 1, 2008
moving... stuff
I moved today.
well I move everyday, but today I mean I finished moving my "stuff" from one place to a new place... mainly by "stuff" I mean bed.
You know what is interesting to me? that when we ask somone "where do you live?" what we really mean is "where is your bed?" You could spend every day at work and every evning... well wherever but still what the question really refers to is "where is your bed?" and "where do you get sent bills"
Pastor Ken talked about "stuff" this weekend. as he begain to describe how it is we act toward these material possesions in our lives it gave the service a good chuckle. "basically a house is a place to keep stuff. we get more stuff we need a bigger house to cover it all. we go on vacation and we pack some stuff to take with us so we feel more at home. we have storage units to hold our stuff." maybe you had to be there but it was pretty funny to listen to, especially because very soon here I will once again be the owner of a rented storage unit. sigh. too much stuff.
One thing I like about moving is that it forces you to look at things that you have had hidden in drawers and ignored for a long time and get rid of them... at least I hope it does. you realize that dragging those dried flowers you got for freshmen homecoming (from a boy you didin't even like mind you) really is kinda silly. (yeah I threw those away yesterday). you also realize that there are things you have that simply make no sence, a rock for example. I found one in my room. why? I don't know. a nice shiny rock? no no. just a normal hand sized evryday outside garden rock. Sometimes when you move you can bless other people by giving them things you don't need anymore. I gave the rock to my old roomate sarah... to use as a paperweight. It was a practicle gift.
Anyway I find that just like naturally God uses movings to get rid of "stuff" in our life that we don't need, he uses shifts in our lives to get rid of spiritual stuff we don't need.
Once again my friends, it's a new season!
well I move everyday, but today I mean I finished moving my "stuff" from one place to a new place... mainly by "stuff" I mean bed.
You know what is interesting to me? that when we ask somone "where do you live?" what we really mean is "where is your bed?" You could spend every day at work and every evning... well wherever but still what the question really refers to is "where is your bed?" and "where do you get sent bills"
Pastor Ken talked about "stuff" this weekend. as he begain to describe how it is we act toward these material possesions in our lives it gave the service a good chuckle. "basically a house is a place to keep stuff. we get more stuff we need a bigger house to cover it all. we go on vacation and we pack some stuff to take with us so we feel more at home. we have storage units to hold our stuff." maybe you had to be there but it was pretty funny to listen to, especially because very soon here I will once again be the owner of a rented storage unit. sigh. too much stuff.
One thing I like about moving is that it forces you to look at things that you have had hidden in drawers and ignored for a long time and get rid of them... at least I hope it does. you realize that dragging those dried flowers you got for freshmen homecoming (from a boy you didin't even like mind you) really is kinda silly. (yeah I threw those away yesterday). you also realize that there are things you have that simply make no sence, a rock for example. I found one in my room. why? I don't know. a nice shiny rock? no no. just a normal hand sized evryday outside garden rock. Sometimes when you move you can bless other people by giving them things you don't need anymore. I gave the rock to my old roomate sarah... to use as a paperweight. It was a practicle gift.
Anyway I find that just like naturally God uses movings to get rid of "stuff" in our life that we don't need, he uses shifts in our lives to get rid of spiritual stuff we don't need.
Once again my friends, it's a new season!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
My profound thoughts on showers.
I think that taking a shower is far more spiritual than taking a bath, because showers wash all your dirt far away never to be seen again, where as with baths you just sort of ruminate in your own filth.
Jon when he was preaching this Wednesday said: "when you meditate on where you've been too long you'll be inclined to go back there." (or something equivalent to that statement) I thought it was an interesting and profound thought and it reminded me of how I think of baths...
What I mean is that at some point you've just got to accept that that old dirt simply isn't a part of you anymore, stop trying to define your current relationship with Christ by who you use to be (the sin that you are sitting in), let the dirt be in the past and down the drain. You are a new creation! old things in your life are passed away and all things (ALL THINGS)have become new! you are begining to live a new life in which you are being made new and becoming like the one who made you! 2corinthians 5:17(ish)
We need to realize that Christ cleansing us is a daily process of letting his blood flow over our life! It dosn't stop at what he DID. It's about what He's DOING!
(Can I get an AMEN!)
Jon when he was preaching this Wednesday said: "when you meditate on where you've been too long you'll be inclined to go back there." (or something equivalent to that statement) I thought it was an interesting and profound thought and it reminded me of how I think of baths...
What I mean is that at some point you've just got to accept that that old dirt simply isn't a part of you anymore, stop trying to define your current relationship with Christ by who you use to be (the sin that you are sitting in), let the dirt be in the past and down the drain. You are a new creation! old things in your life are passed away and all things (ALL THINGS)have become new! you are begining to live a new life in which you are being made new and becoming like the one who made you! 2corinthians 5:17(ish)
We need to realize that Christ cleansing us is a daily process of letting his blood flow over our life! It dosn't stop at what he DID. It's about what He's DOING!
(Can I get an AMEN!)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The view through the tree... leaves...and fruit.
When climbing a tree safely be sure to choose branches that are able to support your entire weight. Wear cloths that are closer to the skin to avoid accidental snags, and always consider your path back down as well. Some places may be easier to get up into, than down out of.
When climbing a tree for the experience however the rules are a little different: remember that the branches closer to the top are going to be weaker... that doesn't mean that all of them won't hold you, find that one. wear whatever you want, when you get a hole in those favorite jeans, at least you'll have a great story to tell every time you wear them. Don't look down. If you think about going down you can't think about going up... and worst case scenario the fire department is only a phone call away.
I climbed a tree today. I got pretty high up too... though not as high as I could have, and definitely not as high as I would have during former seasons of my life. Tree climbing for me started in our southern California house with the eclectic array of trees that made their home in our backyard, I remember there were at least five, and three of the five were perfect for climbing. An only child before the days of guitar hero, and cable TV left me few options for entertainment, and this climbing business was the past time of choice.
Climbing a tree is pointless really... unless you are the only girl in a group of guys that is willing to ascend to a certain height, well than it has a point. Or if you're in ninth grade and your boyfriend wanted you to get down a foot and a half lower and you can see that you are really making him upset, well then it has a point too. Or if you are eight and you are pretty sure that you are finally tall enough to get from that branch to the roof of the house, well than it definitely has a point. But the problem with climbing is that at some stage you do have to turn around and come back down.
I think that sometimes we think of faith like this too. Am I wearing the right cloths for this adventure? (God I don't look nice enough to talk to them today). Is that branch going to support me? (If I give that up am I still going to be provided for?) If I don't make it onto the roof how am I going to get back down? (If Jesus just doesn't come through on this one, what's my plan B?). But just like the only way to really climb a tree (and get to the point of the whole adventure) is to just do it. So it is also the only way to follow Jesus. Go. even when it makes no sense. Climb. even if you don't know how (or if) you're getting down.
I came to Christ because I was miserable. I needed him to fix me up. What I found in him wasn't just a "fix" but a totally new life. After this He very simply said, "you aren't getting your life back Jen". I realize now what that really meant.
I chose to go up with Christ, to climb, at first because there were rabid dogs chasing me at the bottom of the trunk, and maybe somewhere deep down I thought "I'll just go this high until the dogs leave". but that's never what he wanted for his beloved. He wants us to see the top. Hebrews 6:7-? ...we are confident of better things concerning you, things that accompany salvation. God wants us to climb that tree with out fear, and not looking for a way to get ourselves out. He gave us this tree of new life, and he shows us how to climb! God I want to see the top! I want to see the view!
When climbing a tree for the experience however the rules are a little different: remember that the branches closer to the top are going to be weaker... that doesn't mean that all of them won't hold you, find that one. wear whatever you want, when you get a hole in those favorite jeans, at least you'll have a great story to tell every time you wear them. Don't look down. If you think about going down you can't think about going up... and worst case scenario the fire department is only a phone call away.
I climbed a tree today. I got pretty high up too... though not as high as I could have, and definitely not as high as I would have during former seasons of my life. Tree climbing for me started in our southern California house with the eclectic array of trees that made their home in our backyard, I remember there were at least five, and three of the five were perfect for climbing. An only child before the days of guitar hero, and cable TV left me few options for entertainment, and this climbing business was the past time of choice.
Climbing a tree is pointless really... unless you are the only girl in a group of guys that is willing to ascend to a certain height, well than it has a point. Or if you're in ninth grade and your boyfriend wanted you to get down a foot and a half lower and you can see that you are really making him upset, well then it has a point too. Or if you are eight and you are pretty sure that you are finally tall enough to get from that branch to the roof of the house, well than it definitely has a point. But the problem with climbing is that at some stage you do have to turn around and come back down.
I think that sometimes we think of faith like this too. Am I wearing the right cloths for this adventure? (God I don't look nice enough to talk to them today). Is that branch going to support me? (If I give that up am I still going to be provided for?) If I don't make it onto the roof how am I going to get back down? (If Jesus just doesn't come through on this one, what's my plan B?). But just like the only way to really climb a tree (and get to the point of the whole adventure) is to just do it. So it is also the only way to follow Jesus. Go. even when it makes no sense. Climb. even if you don't know how (or if) you're getting down.
I came to Christ because I was miserable. I needed him to fix me up. What I found in him wasn't just a "fix" but a totally new life. After this He very simply said, "you aren't getting your life back Jen". I realize now what that really meant.
I chose to go up with Christ, to climb, at first because there were rabid dogs chasing me at the bottom of the trunk, and maybe somewhere deep down I thought "I'll just go this high until the dogs leave". but that's never what he wanted for his beloved. He wants us to see the top. Hebrews 6:7-? ...we are confident of better things concerning you, things that accompany salvation. God wants us to climb that tree with out fear, and not looking for a way to get ourselves out. He gave us this tree of new life, and he shows us how to climb! God I want to see the top! I want to see the view!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
oh brain, why are you bothering me
I really enjoy writing... at least I use to. there is something that happens when you write that seems to clarify things, make life make sense. It's been a hard year. I hate writing that because it sounds so defeated to me, but the truth is it just has. Clarifying moments of your life often means admitting things you don't want to... maybe that's why it's so hard to write lately. It's been hard because things I wanted and hoped for haven't happened, hard because God is bringing me closer to this fear thing than he ever has before. Hard because I realize that who I am and who I am called to become are really really far a part. farther almost than they have ever seemed before.
It seems to me that in life you have two choices... to avoid frustration and insanity. just follow me for a moment. when our perceived reality and our actual reality are different from each other our mind will subconsciously do everything in it's power to make the two correlate. even if that means believing a lie, or doing ridiculous things. We like to be sain and frustration free, understandably. So lets say that you are capable (and what's more called) to live prosperously but instead you always seem to be struggling. your brain will do one of two things. 1)find a way to live in prosperity or 2) decide that it was never meant to be that way in the first place and just getting by is acceptable. It has to do this, for it's own preservation. That's it's job after all-to make things make sense. but the simple truth is that prospering takes more time, energy, and effort than believing that you are called to be average and living in meidocricy does. brain says "fastest way to sanity that's where I'm going"... and really do we blame the thing, it's just doing it's job. taking in the stimulus, deducing, and coming up with a solution. thank God for our brain, really. but God never really likes short cuts I'm finding. no he's all about that character building stuff. He gets us all stocked and excited about who we are called to be, and what he wants to do and than, well and then he looks to see what we are going to do with it. what is going to be anchored in place? is it the promise of prosperity, joy and peace? or will it be the current reality? Can I say that sometimes when I settle for the everyday I'm not as frustrated as when I'm dreaming big. truthfully. I've been through some hard seasons, and man where I am today is much better than other places I've been. And if I chose to believe that this is all God has for me, well my brain would certainly let me... after all things ARE good... but what about all those visions God? what about the promises? man. now I'm frustrated again. I hate being frustrated... oh what is a soul to do? I must anchor the vision so deep that the only option for my soul is to have the promises happen. I must trust that God is who he said he is. and that if I'm patient, my circumstantial reality will lineup with my perceived one. God We all need to see things a little more prophetically.
It seems to me that in life you have two choices... to avoid frustration and insanity. just follow me for a moment. when our perceived reality and our actual reality are different from each other our mind will subconsciously do everything in it's power to make the two correlate. even if that means believing a lie, or doing ridiculous things. We like to be sain and frustration free, understandably. So lets say that you are capable (and what's more called) to live prosperously but instead you always seem to be struggling. your brain will do one of two things. 1)find a way to live in prosperity or 2) decide that it was never meant to be that way in the first place and just getting by is acceptable. It has to do this, for it's own preservation. That's it's job after all-to make things make sense. but the simple truth is that prospering takes more time, energy, and effort than believing that you are called to be average and living in meidocricy does. brain says "fastest way to sanity that's where I'm going"... and really do we blame the thing, it's just doing it's job. taking in the stimulus, deducing, and coming up with a solution. thank God for our brain, really. but God never really likes short cuts I'm finding. no he's all about that character building stuff. He gets us all stocked and excited about who we are called to be, and what he wants to do and than, well and then he looks to see what we are going to do with it. what is going to be anchored in place? is it the promise of prosperity, joy and peace? or will it be the current reality? Can I say that sometimes when I settle for the everyday I'm not as frustrated as when I'm dreaming big. truthfully. I've been through some hard seasons, and man where I am today is much better than other places I've been. And if I chose to believe that this is all God has for me, well my brain would certainly let me... after all things ARE good... but what about all those visions God? what about the promises? man. now I'm frustrated again. I hate being frustrated... oh what is a soul to do? I must anchor the vision so deep that the only option for my soul is to have the promises happen. I must trust that God is who he said he is. and that if I'm patient, my circumstantial reality will lineup with my perceived one. God We all need to see things a little more prophetically.
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